In a world where superpowers are ranked based on their lethality and threat levels, being high on the rank usually means you can incinerate cities or control minds. But not for me. Somehow, I ended up pretty high on the list despite having a power that's anything but lethal or threatening. My name is Barry, and my superpower is...procrastination.
Yup, you heard that right. I can procrastinate anything and anyone. If you think that sounds ridiculous, well, you're not entirely wrong. But let me tell you, this power has its perks—and a whole lot of unintended consequences.
It all started on a Monday, the day when everyone wishes they could procrastinate life. I was at work, staring at a mountain of paperwork, wishing it could all just...wait. Suddenly, the papers started to blur, and the next thing I knew, they vanished. Well, they didn't actually vanish—they were just postponed to an undefined point in the future. Neat trick, huh?
At first, I used my power for the usual stuff: delaying boring meetings, putting off awkward conversations, and rescheduling dentist appointments indefinitely. But word got out, and soon enough, I was approached by the Bureau of Superhuman Affairs.
"Barry," said Agent Smith, a stern-looking man in a black suit, "we've noticed your unique ability. We'd like you to join the Bureau."
"What's the catch?" I asked, skeptical.
"No catch," he replied. "Just...try not to use your power too much. The consequences can be...unexpected."
My first mission was to delay a bank robbery. Simple enough, right? I walked into the bank, saw the robbers, and procrastinated their criminal intentions. They suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to sit down and reevaluate their life choices.
"Maybe we should do this tomorrow," one of them said, yawning.
"Yeah, I'm not really feeling it today," another agreed.
Mission accomplished! Or so I thought. The next day, the robbers showed up again, more determined than ever. It turned into a daily routine—each day, I'd procrastinate their plans, and each day they'd come back, slightly more irritated.
One day, I received a call from the Bureau.
"Barry, we need you to handle a supervillain attack. Code Red."
I rushed to the scene, where the villain, Destructo, was wreaking havoc. I tried to procrastinate his destruction, but the guy was relentless. For every building he tried to smash, I'd delay it, making him feel like it could wait until next week.
"Why can't I just destroy things now?" Destructo whined, sitting on a pile of rubble that he suddenly lost interest in demolishing.
The fight dragged on for hours, until Destructo, too exhausted to continue, decided to take a nap. Crisis averted, but the city was left in a state of perpetual "almost destruction."
Despite the chaos, the Bureau informed me that I was ranked highly because my power was unpredictable and difficult to counter. Heroes and villains alike couldn't plan for it, making me a wild card.
"You may not be lethal, Barry," Agent Smith said, "but you're one of the biggest threats because no one knows what to expect."
It was a comical irony. My power, meant to delay and defer, had propelled me to a rank among the world's most dangerous.
I've come to embrace my role. Sure, my power isn't flashy or deadly, but it's effective in its own way. I've delayed world-ending catastrophes, postponed villainous schemes, and bought heroes the time they needed to save the day. And in a world where timing is everything, procrastination might just be the most powerful ability of all.
So here I am, Barry, the Procrastination Man. Saving the world...eventually.
fantastic fiction, quick fantasy, adventure, fantasy, comedy
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